When and only when!

So today on my lunch break at Panera I was standing behind a young business professional woman. She was dressed in cute black skirt and shirt and she was wearing flip flops. But not just any flip flops, no sir! She was wearing (drum roll please...) Platform flips flops. This got me thinking about all the shoes you should NEVER wear unless under certain extenuating circumstances.

1)Platform Flip flops

There is no exception to these, they should NEVER be worn

2) Ugg Boots

Only acceptable when it is actually cold out and they aren't worn with a skirt!!!!

3) Boat Shoes

If you have a boat and are on it, fine! If not, what the hell are you thinking?

4) Thigh High Hooker Boots

If you are in fact a hooker or dressing up as one for Halloween, these boots are acceptable. Otherwise, they are not. Knee high hooker boots are acceptable for us non ladies of the night as long as they are made of quality leather (none of the plastic stuff)

5) Velcro Shoes

Only to be worn if you are over the age of 80

6) Penny Loafers

I can't think of one instance that these would be necessary. Especially if there is actually a penny in the front of it.

7)Jelly Shoes

Are you 2? Well then that answers that!

8) Moon Boots

Only if your name is Napoleon Dynamite

9) And last but certainly not least High Tops

Never never never never never acceptable. Do they honestly sell these still?

Am I missing any?